No Rory No!!!

I'm normally not very superstitious and I don't really believe in ghosts or the paranormal. I tend to need hard facts and empirical evidence to convince me of most things.

There is way too much evidence for this to be a myth, right?

The word 'normally' is the operative word here as no evidence of the 'unearthly' has ever been more compelling, and likely to make me believe that malevolent external forces are at work, than that provided by the 'Madden Curse'. Quite simply, this particular curse afflicts any athlete who has ever been the featured on the cover of EA Sports enormously successful NFL video game franchise. The curse has been kinder to some than to others. While Ray Lewis endured a couple of years of injuries and no post-season play, Michael Vick earned himself a trip to the big house and bankruptcy. But worst of all, Daunte Culpepper ended up as a back-up for the Lions. I think I'd rather have nine months locked up in a small room with a guy called 'Bubba' than play out my career holding a clip board in Detroit. The list really does go on and on providing way too much compelling evidence of bad karma to be dismissed.

John Madden, explaining the mechanics of 'The Curse', yesterday

[Image courtesy if www.pulledmygroin.com]

Recently I've been led to believe that the curse has taken the form of a virus of bad mojo. It is spreading throughout the EA Sports HQ in Vancouver and late last year it finally took a firm hold of the PGA Tour game development team. What else can explain the quite literal car wreck that is now Tiger Woods career and life? Woods became the face of the slowly fading PGA Tour games franchise in 1998 and immediately injected new life into what had become a tired and stale format. Tiger's appeal to a younger audience was reflected by the numbers of people buying the game he endorsed year in year out.

For a decade it was nothing but plain sailing, but 2008 saw the first signs that the curse maybe getting to grips with the world's biggest sports star. He limped and grimaced his way to a remarkable play-off victory at Torrey Pines in the US Open. That incredible triumph over Rocco Mediate convinced me that Woods was, by the power of his will, fighting off the curse like a normal human being fights off the flu. It was as if he was avoiding his fate like the Alex Browning character in 'Final Destination' cheated death. He spends the entire movie dodging a variety of gruesome ends at the hands of the grim reaper himself. For Woods, the tragically inevitable occurred on the night of Thanksgiving 2009. The 'Madden Curse' had finally infected EA's biggest property and Tiger's life would never be the same again.

With all of that in mind, I was stunned to discover that Rory Mcilroy has agreed to appear alongside Woods on the cover of the 'Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11'.

The Ulsterman was born in 1989 so I doubt that he is overly familiar with the solo work of John Lennon. He is probably unaware that 'Instant Karma' is now quite likely to get him. In fact it may have already struck.

I have no idea when McIlroy signed his deal with Electronic Arts but I do know that he hasn't won since February 2009, he is no longer in the Top 10 of the World Rankings and he has a sore back.

Rory, my advice is simple. Hire a decent lawyer, get out of the contract (even if that means faking your own death or chopping one of your own legs off), give EA back their cash and walk away quietly. You and your agent can thank me later.