With only a couple of weeks to go before the first major of the season, the golf world is fixing its gaze upon Augusta, Georgia. Tiger Woods' return to competitive golf has done the almost impossible and made the 74th Masters a greater 'appointment to view' event than ever before.
The question is who will the Masters committee pair him with? Who will be forced to endure the pressure of playing in front of enormous galleries of pro and anti-Tiger followers. This group of fans are as likely to cheer every shank as they are to politely applaud each birdie. It will require a strong nerve and truck loads of confidence to play the first 36 holes in that particular environment let alone make the cut. It's hard enough to qualify for the weekend at Augusta under normal circumstances without being followed by at least one representative of every media outlet on the planet.
Tiger's locker room environment at Augusta will be much differ to recent years.
The question is who will the Masters committee pair him with? Who will be forced to endure the pressure of playing in front of enormous galleries of pro and anti-Tiger followers. This group of fans are as likely to cheer every shank as they are to politely applaud each birdie. It will require a strong nerve and truck loads of confidence to play the first 36 holes in that particular environment let alone make the cut. It's hard enough to qualify for the weekend at Augusta under normal circumstances without being followed by at least one representative of every media outlet on the planet.
Tiger's locker room environment at Augusta will be much differ to recent years.I believe I may have the solution. This proposal has the potential to deliver everything that the golf fan could want; Tiger in action, great shot making, controversy, astonishingly bad trousers, belt buckles the size of Nebraska and crowd violence. All this while ensuring the safety an protection of the players and reducing the chances of the galleries or viewing television audience being offended by any audible player profanity. It's simple really, pair Tiger up with Rory Sabbatini and Ian Poulter for the first two days and while you are at it mic them up!
Precisley the sort of gallery member Augusta is looking for, yesterday
Sabbatini has a history of effectively dealing with fans who have the temerity to talk to him while on the course. In May 2007 Texas based South African declared that "[Woods is] more beatable than ever!". Inevitably this came back to bite him two months later when Woods crushed him in the final paring on the Sunday of the WGC Bridgestone Invitational. That Sunday afternoon at the Firestone Country Club, Woods equaled the low round of the week, a 65, while Sabbatini shot a miserable 74. Unfortunately, Rory's best work of the day was in making Steve Banky a household name (outside his own) for a couple of days, by having him ejected from the course. His crime? Enquiring of Rory as to whether or not he still thought Tiger was "beatable"! It would be unfair to label Sabbatini a serial ejector, if I did not have my own painful expereince of being turfed off a championship golf course at the South African's behest.
In 2001 Sabbatini was just breaking through on the US Tour and was still establishing his playing credentials in the United States. Back then he still had a South African accent, I can only assume he bought the Texan one that comes out of his mouth now. I was friends with his caddie, Kieran Docherty (now on Todd Hamilton's bag). I met up with the player and caddie at Sabbatini's rented flat on the morning of the first round of the Open Championship at Royal Lytham. He was very friendly and was probably quite happy that he had at least one supporter specifically following him that day. All was going well until about the 7th hole, Sabbatini was on the fairway conferring with Docherty, I was behind the ropes about 60 feet away from both. The belief that my mobile phone was switched off was shattered by the loud noise breaking perfect silence, it was coming from my pocket. Without even blinking, Rory ushered a USGA official over to me and he, in turn, instructed near by stewards to escort me off the course. Of the 40,000 fans there that day, I can safely say that only one was specifically there to give the South African any support and encouragement and he, in turn, had me ejected from the venue!
Ian Poulter's contribution shall be two-fold. Primarily I want him there (and here is where the mics come in handy) so that I can hear the conversation between he and Tiger regarding the Englishman's magnificently out of context "It's me and Tiger" quote from early 2008. Tiger's response to this, at the time, was cutting and to the point. After a spectacular final round of 65, at the Dubai Desert Classic, Woods was asked live on TV about the fact that the gap in the World rankings between him and second place man Phil Mickleson was larger than the gap between Phil and the golfer ranked number 1000. Wood's responded by remarking, with an impish grin, that he thought "Poulter was number two now". The secondary reason for Poulter's inclusion is much more straight forward, I honestly believe the decibel levels of his outfits will block out much of the negativity that may come from the galleries.
In 2001 Sabbatini was just breaking through on the US Tour and was still establishing his playing credentials in the United States. Back then he still had a South African accent, I can only assume he bought the Texan one that comes out of his mouth now. I was friends with his caddie, Kieran Docherty (now on Todd Hamilton's bag). I met up with the player and caddie at Sabbatini's rented flat on the morning of the first round of the Open Championship at Royal Lytham. He was very friendly and was probably quite happy that he had at least one supporter specifically following him that day. All was going well until about the 7th hole, Sabbatini was on the fairway conferring with Docherty, I was behind the ropes about 60 feet away from both. The belief that my mobile phone was switched off was shattered by the loud noise breaking perfect silence, it was coming from my pocket. Without even blinking, Rory ushered a USGA official over to me and he, in turn, instructed near by stewards to escort me off the course. Of the 40,000 fans there that day, I can safely say that only one was specifically there to give the South African any support and encouragement and he, in turn, had me ejected from the venue!
Ian Poulter's contribution shall be two-fold. Primarily I want him there (and here is where the mics come in handy) so that I can hear the conversation between he and Tiger regarding the Englishman's magnificently out of context "It's me and Tiger" quote from early 2008. Tiger's response to this, at the time, was cutting and to the point. After a spectacular final round of 65, at the Dubai Desert Classic, Woods was asked live on TV about the fact that the gap in the World rankings between him and second place man Phil Mickleson was larger than the gap between Phil and the golfer ranked number 1000. Wood's responded by remarking, with an impish grin, that he thought "Poulter was number two now". The secondary reason for Poulter's inclusion is much more straight forward, I honestly believe the decibel levels of his outfits will block out much of the negativity that may come from the galleries.
Don't forget that there are 50 (that's fifty) Stiletto Green Tools to be won right now.
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