Finchem needs to listen to more Zappa

You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football - WE EVOLVED!
- Frank Vincent Zappa

Frank Zappa believed that a "good artist is a tasteful thief". In other words if you are going to steal an idea at least have the decency to make it a good one. When George Harrison wrote 'My Sweet Lord', thank goodness it was 'He's so fine' by the Chiffons that was running amok in his subconscious and not '99 Luftbaloons' by Nena.

PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem was almost certainly not chanelling Zappa when he decided to send a memo to all PGA Tournament directors reminding them of Steve Elkington's current tour status and the fact that the 1997 USPGA Champion would need an invite to appear in their event in 2010. One has to then ask, what precisely was he thinking while composing and distributing the memo?

The motive behind this action is rather baffling seeing as it has simply served to annoy and disgruntle the scores of tour players who, for whatever reason, no longer have full playing rights. So Tim Finchem has severely dented his own credibility as the head of the most powerful professional golf tour in the World for what exactly? Making sure that Steve Elkington gets to play as often as possible!? Steve Elkington!?

Tim Finchem, descibing just how much trouble that memo got him into, yesterday

I genuinely like the personable 47 year old Australian but does anyone actually believe his presence at, for example, the John Deere Classic will put one solitary extra body through the gates? Would putting Elkington on the entry list be more beneficial than say adding John Daly, Rocco Mediate or David Duval to Thursday's pairings?

Finchem's quote, from the memo, about Elkington being "a tournament favorite for his work with the sponsors" is both a strength and, increasingly, a weakness for the tour. Golf sponsorship would never have reached the extraordinary levels it has if it were not for the fact that so many CEO's and VP's of Marketing play the game and conduct business on the course. It is not too difficult to understand why a middle aged multi-millionaire with a major under his belt would be so popular on Pro-Am days when someone is needed to play 18 holes with the head of finance from the presenting sponsor. In turn it is hardly a surprise that a Tiger-less tour doesn't attract a new generation of fans when pressure is being exerted on tournaments to add players to their events who are marking out their time waiting to cash in on the Champions Tour.

So my advice to the 'Commish' would be that if he is going to anger half his members, shoot for the stars and send out a memo reminding all of his tournaments that they could invite the cast of 'Jersey Shore' to play in their event or possibly a live, low-handicap octopus. At least that way he could guarantee some headlines in the process.

Don't forget that there are 50 (that's fifty) Stiletto Green Tools to be won right now.